The race that stopped me....but only for 12 weeks!

After the half marathon I was sorta addicted to running!  I decided to sign up for a local fundraiser 5K even though my shins had been bothering me.  Worse decision ever!  Took 1000mg of Motrin the morning of the race and went for it.  3.1 miles of hell!  I ran the first mile pretty fast then limped for the last 2.1.  I got to the finish line and sat down and then couldn't get back up.  I had to have someone bring me ice to stuff in my compression socks and then Melanie had to drive the van up to where I was sitting so someone could carry me to it.  Went to the ER, turned out I had a 4 inch diagonal stress fracture to my right tibia, right under the knee.  I was sentenced to 12 weeks of no impact and spent the first few weeks on crutches.  This came at a really bad time as we were getting ready to PCS from Kansas to Maryland and I had to get the house ready for the packers to come.  It was difficult to do anything with crutches so I took to rolling around in an office chair to get things done.  Never did master the stairs with the crutches though, had to crawl up and hop on one foot down.  At this point I was still trying to lose weight and not being able to run wasn't going to help so I set out to find other means of exercise.  I started doing some hard core spin classes and weight training and carried on!  I spent the entire summer doing no impact activities but longed to run.  I had no idea what would happen at the end of my recovery period.  I did my physical therapy and continued my no impact workouts for the entire summer.

Melanie and I

Still happy before the race!

Ice packed shin

Literally limping across the finish line

Final results

First mile was my fastest ever, then I broke my shin!

This picture is of me when I realized I had a stress fracture.  My friends told me to delete it, it was pathetic.  I didn't delete it for one reason, it is a constant reminder of a bad decision I made.  Whenever I push myself too far I look at this and decide to listen to my body!

The journey from fat to speedy!

As 2016 comes to a close I can't help but reflect on my achievements over the year.  Last year in August I tried doing the Couch to 5K app and completed it but never really made it to the 5K distance nor did I run very much more than once a week.  I got lazy, I got up to 198lbs and hated myself.  Depression hit and I spent the afternoons napping on the couch and getting nothing done.  In February my friends signed up for the Bill Snyder Half Marathon in Manhattan, KS which was scheduled for May 21st.  I thought, what the hell, I never dreamed of running that distance but training with my friends would be fun and a team effort.  We could support each other and cheer each other on.  So I made up my mind and committed.
I never realized the journey that would ensue after that decision was made.  I started a training program as well as going to the gym a few times a week.  I ran slow and it was hard to carry my weight.  I remember dragging my feet and almost shuffling and it took me forever to run a mile.  Hurdles popped up all over the place, I seemed to have an injury every other day.  My IT Band gave me trouble and if I ran one day then I had to wait the rest of the week to be able to run again.  I would see my friends out doing runs and succeeding and I beat myself up about my inability to keep up.  I did as many training runs as my body would allow and started seeing a chiropractor to help with my injury.  It was determined that my hips were misaligned and the strength in the left leg was way less than that of the right.  After many adjustments the strength evened out.  After overcoming that injury the next one set it, shin splints.  The furthest I got in my training before shin splints took me out was 8 miles.  I remember thinking after that run that I never want to run again!  I think I did a 12 minute mile that day.  Once my shins started hurting I stopped running for the last 4 or 5 weeks of training and focused on spin class to keep up my endurance.  The weight was slowly starting to come off and I needed to go down a size in my workout clothes.  Before the half marathon I did a 10K race at Kstate and was very proud of my time considering the very hilly course!

Race day came and I feared what would happen after I hit mile 8 since I never trained past that distance.  I joined a pace group and was motivated by them for the first 8 or 9 miles of the race....then I hit my wall.  I started getting slower and slower, my knee swelled and hurt and I was running out of gas.  Finally I saw my pacers round the corner and keep on going....I was now on my own!  Those last 4 miles were nothing but mental torture.  I ran, I walked, I encouraged others who were struggling and I ran some more.  The end was in site.  I came through that finish line hunched over like I was going to fall on my face.  I had no more steam in me and nothing more to give but I DID IT!  Not only had I done it but I finished faster than my goal time of 2:40.

Mile 3 and I was still happy!

Finish line, barely could stand!

Holy crap, did I just do that?!

Planned finish was 2:40

Me and my girls

My running apps time

I wasn't dead last!!!!

The vacation that never was

I don't know about the rest of you but I can only go so long without being near/in/around the beach, especially when we're stationed in Kansas, so last year for Christmas I talked Pete into booking a family vacation to Cancun.  I found an incredible deal on Expedia that included airfare and an all-inclusive resort that was kid friendly.  How could we resist?  Those who know me well are aware of my obsessive need to plan...with that said, let's just say our every breath during this vacation was mapped out.  I had us at a hotel with a shuttle to the airport, transfers from the Cancun airport to our hotel and a few fun excursions, including swimming with dolphins, all scheduled and ready to go.
The kids were so excited and were cool with forfeiting gifts for the vacation.
 I meticulously worked on filling out forms and gathering documents to get the kids passports for the trip.  I read the passport website and determined that 'passport cards' were much cheaper than actual passports and lo and behold it said they were good for travel to Mexico! Perfect, right?  Not so much.....it turns out, and we didn't learn this valuable gem of knowledge until we were actually AT the airport checking into our flight, that passport cards are only good if you are traveling to Mexico by land or sea, but NOT by air.  This tiny little overlooked detail cost us our entire vacation.  When the computer wouldn't accept the passport cards my stomach dropped and I thought "could I have screwed this up?  Was there something I failed to see?".  The answer to those questions?  YES!  As the customer service rep at Delta told us we could not travel via air out of the country with passport cards I burst into tears.  Wait, no, it was more like sobs!  I sobbed and wailed and kept asking myself why? why? why? did you screw this up Michelle?????  Never had I been so angry with myself.

The kids were devastated and Genna was crying about not getting to see the dolphins which made my already aching heart hurt even more.  Thankfully we purchased the vacation protection plan and thankfully I thought to call Expedia right there from the airport to tell them we wouldn't be going on our trip.  Had I waited until after the time our flight was scheduled to depart we wouldn't have been eligible to get back any money from the trip.  Because I called early we got back about 75% of what we paid, which eased the hurt a little, but not enough to make me feel chipper again.

At that point I just wanted to go home; to get the heck out of there.  We drove the two hours back home and I just couldn't muster up a happy mood no matter how hard I tried.  I burst into tears just thinking about it.  Now what?  We have no gifts for Christmas and we used all the money to pay for the trip.  After a day of sulking our doorbell rings and I reluctantly get up to answer it.  Standing on our front porch were all our neighborhood friends and their spouses and kids and they came bearing gifts and food for our family.  I took one look at them and burst into tears!  I was so grateful that they had thought to do such a thing!  Because of them there were presents for Christmas!  That gesture definitely helped to cheer me up and I wasn't so down for the rest of that day.

The next day I set off with the spending money we had for our trip and spent the day in Topeka shopping for Christmas gifts.  It wasn't what I wanted to be doing but at least the kids would have something to open on Christmas morning.

And so the Christmas that wasn't had turned into the Christmas that WAS even though it wasn't the way I had imagined it in my head.  Lesson of this story?  Just get a darn passport and forget about the card!!!

So for most of my life I've been pretty darn satisfied with my choice to not have kids until I was 30.  Of course, at this juncture I'm feeling quite left out seeing other folks my age with kids in high school or college and here I am with two of mine in elementary school and one in preschool.  As the year has progressed with Genna in preschool I've come to realize that most of the other moms are still in their 20's!  They look like children in my eyes!!
 As my 41st birthday is quickly creeping up I can't help but wonder if maybe I should have started this whole family thing a little bit earlier.  To make matters worse, while waiting to pick up Genna I overhear a group of moms talking about how "old" they are...."I can't believe I'm going to be 26!" and "Nobody believes me that I'm actually turning THIRTY next month".  I'm standing there listening to this and the cranks in my head are turning and right before smoke begins to come out of my ears I blurt out "I don't wanna hear any of that, my 41st birthday is next month" to which they all reply "No way!" and to make matters worse "Wow, my MOM is ONLY 46"!
Driving home a million thoughts were going through my head, such as, how much time do I have before I need a cane or a walker or an oxygen tank??!! But then, before my head could continue to make me feel bad about my age I went back in time to memories of the fun times I had in my 20's.  I can remember not having a care in the world, doing whatever I wanted to do...late nights out at the bar with my friends, evenings at Dave Matthews concerts, the beach, dating a wide variety of different men and loving every second of it!  If we time traveled back to those days you wouldn't be witness to me wiping a baby's ass or dealing with a screaming toddler in the check out line at Walmart and you certainly wouldn't find me driving a mini van!  So, where those other moms are looking at me as this 'aged' person I'm feeling quite happy with myself.  Sure, I still need a baby-sitter  if hubby and I want to go out and I don't have that teenage child who can watch the smaller ones for me, but what I DO have is great memories of me living life when I was at my prime!  So here's me sticking my tongue out at you young moms with three kids ages 5 and under...what memories do you have besides wiping butts and boogie noses????

What do I do with my time?  I sew! I try to do it as often as I can to keep my brain from exploding.  Here are a few of the things I've made recently modeled by some pretty cute little ladies (I'm not at all biased)!  Try checking out these adorable outfits at www.etsy.com/shop/mygigidesigns

Scene 1, Act 1: Enter crazed mom...

I'm sure upon meeting me most people think in their heads "wow, she's a little crazy", which in fact, is not too far from the truth!  I'm almost certain that being "a little crazy" has actually kept me 'sane' all these years!
 I never wanted kids but my biological clock started to sound its crazy alarm making me feel the need to reproduce; it's done this three times!  So now here I am with three needy little people who literally suck the life right out of me.  I've never been one of those people who absolutely has to be needed by someone, in fact, I prefer that nobody needs me; makes my life a lot simpler!  Unfortunately I'm needed constantly around here.
Over the years I've witnessed some pretty crazy feelings and emotions inside as a result of my OCD and anxiety but never have I felt anything like what happens inside my head when kids are present!  If we all hopped on the Magic School Bus and ventured into my brain we'd probably see Dorothy getting sucked up by the tornado while we listened to simultaneous concerts starring ZZ Top, Aerosmith and ACDC while receiving a phone call and texting a reply to some other inquisitive individual!
To sum it up, my head is a whirlwind of activity on its own, but when you add kids to the mix, it becomes the next great wonder of the world.  So this blog, if you haven't figured it out, is to record some of my daily goings on, mull over my not so remarkable life and maybe once in a while give you a peek into my latest sewing and baking projects.  To be totally honest, you never know what you might find on here.  Who knows, maybe for some it will be helpful, for others maybe it will serve as comic relief but alas, why am I concerned about y'all anyway, I'm doing this for my own personal sanity!!!